Going through a divorce in normal circumstances is difficult. There is a lot of uncertainty about what your future looks like. Right now, the entire world is in a state of uncertainty due to coronavirus. As social distancing continues, everyone is wondering when life will return to normal. Facing both global and personal uncertainty can be particularly challenging. Here are five ways to help you manage uncertainty.
1. Form a Team
Your Team You is everyone who is going to support you through your divorce. This includes your family and friends and also professionals. You may need a therapist, lawyer, financial advisor, or other professional to help you through the process. Reach out to or update professionals now to get your team in place. For your family and friends, update them and tell them what you need. They want to support you, but they do not always know the best way to do it. Let them know what you need so that you get the right support. Having your Team You in place will help you feel more connected and secure.
2. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
Staying physically healthy helps you stay emotionally healthy. You cannot control everything that is happening in your divorce and with coronavirus. But you can focus on eating balanced meals, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. When you feel better, you have more reserves to cope with uncertainty. Plus the more energy you put into your health, the less energy you have to spend worrying about the future. Creating a routine around your health priorities will help you feel more in control.
3. Focus on the Present
Accept that you cannot predict the future. Worrying more will not give you more certainty. When you find yourself obsessing about what will happen in the future, redirect your thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this a problem I can solve today?” If it is, take some action towards solving it. If you cannot solve it today, focus on something more immediate. Even a simple thing you can take immediate action on, such as making dinner or cleaning your house, can help distract you. You can also train your brain to stay in the moment. Try mindfulness, meditation, or a gratitude journal to help you focus on the present. You may not be able to control the future. You can control how much you worry about it in the present.
4. Take Action to Create Certainty
Taking even a small step forward can help you feel more in control. Identify what you can take action on. You may want to talk to your spouse to see if you can agree on any terms. You could connect with a divorce attorney to see what the next steps are. If you already know the next steps, you can do any preliminary tasks to prepare yourself for that. For example, if you know you want to file once social distancing is over, you can get your paperwork ready now. Doing something is better than doing nothing and worrying. Creating certainty about even one thing will help you feel calm and secure.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Social distancing gives you a lot of time alone with your thoughts. That is not always a good thing. It is easy to criticize yourself. When you cannot control the outside world, you may turn that desire to control inward on yourself. You may beat yourself up for past mistakes and perceived flaws. But if someone you loved came to you in a similar situation, you would not be as critical of them. You would help them move forward and feel better about themselves. Take the compassion you would give to someone you care about and extend that compassion to yourself.
Social distancing has created uncertainty for everyone. Facing divorce at the same time can create more feelings of insecurity. Worrying about the future will only feed on itself and create more stress. With these tips, you can learn to manage uncertainty.
To start taking control of your divorce process, contact Porchlight by calling 678-435-9069. We work to help reduce stress and anxiety in your family law case so you can feel more secure.